Music Makes You Lose Control

Recently Acquired CD's...

AZ - Doe Or Die
Between The Buried And Me - The Anatomy Of
Busta Rhymes - The Big Bang
Cam'ron - Killa Season
Caliban - The Undying Darkness
Cunninlynguists - A Piece Of Strange
Dilated Peoples - 20/20
Dillinja & Lemon D - The Crash Test EP
EPMD - Strictly Business
EPMD - Unfinished Business
G. Love - G Loves Lemonade
Ice Cube - Kill At Will EP
Ice Cube - Lethal Injection
Ice Cube - The Predator
Immortal Technique - Revolutionary, Vol. 1
Immortal Technique - Revoultionary, Vol. 2
J Dilla - The Shining
Jay Dee (J Dilla) - Welcome To Detroit
Jill Scott - Beautifully Human
Layzie Bone - The New Revolution
Little Brother - Separate But Equal (DJ Drama Gangsta Grillz Mixtape)
Little Brother - The Commercial Free EP
Living Legends - Classic
Masta Killa - Made In Brooklyn
Method Man - 4:21...The Day After
Mobb Deep - Juvenile Hell
Mood - Doom
M.O.P. - Ghetto Warfare
Murs & 9th Wonder - Murray's Revenge
Ne-Yo - In My Own Words
Organized Konfusion - Organized Konfusion
Outkast - Aquemini
Outkast - ATLiens
Pete Rock & CL Smooth - Mecca And The Soul Brother
Quasimoto - The Further Adventures Of Lord Quas
Raekwon - The Da Vinci Code (The Vatican Mixtape Vol. 2)
Rapper Big Pooh - Sleepers
Redman - Dare Iz A Darkside
Rick Ross - Port Of Miami
Rhymefest - Blue Collar
Sadat X - Experience And Education
Sean Price - Monkey Barz
Shai Hulud - A Comprehensive Retrospective
Sigur Ros - Von
Soul Position - Things Go Better With Rj And Al
The Album Leaf - One Day I'll Be On Time
The Doors - The Doors
The Roots - Game Theory
The Warriors - Beyond The Noise
  • Current Music
    Organized Konfusion - Walk Into The Sun

Oh maybe another rant...

I'm not sure how many of you out there read this, and even more so how many of you are in to politics.

But a couple of days ago, George Allen (R) from VA running for the US Senate, was caught on camera making insensitive remarks to an Indian American, referred to as S.R. Sidarth. The Washington Post, as well as The New York Times, CNN, and other media outlets (TNR,, etc) have posted articles on this, and I felt it was my duty as an Indian American to do the same.

First though, let me preface this by saying I have known Sidarth for the majority of my life. We go to the same temple, and when we were younger we used to go to each others birthday parties, houses to play football, he even whipped my ass in every chess match I ever played against him--our mothers are quite close as well. So when I read this story, and heard about it, I was enraged.

Allen refers to Sidarth as a "macaca," a word which no one really seems to know the meaning of. Many people speculate it is a derivation of Macaque, ( which is another name for a Monkey, or simply another name for the Mohawk hairstyle, which Sidarth is seeming to style. However, I don't believe the latter argument, which is Allen's argument. It was reported Allen had in fact met Sidarth and was aware that Sidarth was following his campaign around to videotape him for his opponent, James Webb. Sidarth does not even have a mohawk (I thought it was from my Mother's descriptions when she saw him at the temple a few days ago), but it is a mullet, and it is quite clear it is a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back, if you will.

In any case, this is just another case of extreme ignorance. Allen chose to make these remarks in a crowed of a hundred or so all-white faces, with Sidarth being the only non-white. If a remark such as this were made in another setting, where a white person was called a "Cracker" or something along those lines at a political campaign for an African-American, this would be even more so in the headlines.

Certain members of the Indian community are appalled, and some come to Allen's defense. The reason some are coming to his defense are because in short, Republican ideologies are what is best for Indian Businessmen, Doctors, what have you. We get to keep our money, and we get tax breaks! So, clearly, our loyalties lie elsewhere. This, coming to light ON the DAY of the 59th anniversary of Indian Independence, makes it even more so appalling to me.

Has anyone else made the connection that Allen went from speaking of Sidarth as a "Macaca" and went immediately to the War on Terror? Maybe I might be reading into things, but it seems to be a bit more than a slip-up.

Again, the papers are reporting quotes from various individuals which have statements from political pundits that go on to say Allen need not worry about his Senatorial campaign, but were he to in fact run for the Presidential Nomination in 2008, this would reappear to haunt him. Another skeleton in his closet, if you will--along with the picture of him with the Confederate flag I have been reading about.

I really don't know what I'm even trying to say here. Part of me wants to just yell and scream about how the Right Wing is taking over with their racial insensitivity and is playing into rural America's notions that Indians are to be grouped in the same category as monkeys, or because they look similar to terrorists, whatever (a side note, I was stopped and asked questions at Reagan National Airport with my father the other day for looking "Suspicious," when clearly I was taking a piss and buying The New Yorker, but I won't get into that). But a bigger part of me is thinking, Who's going to even care? The majority of the left-wing bloggers (I guess I'm quite left-wing) and people who read such papers AS the Post, the NY Times, and online papers such as the Huffington Post, or TNR, are already knowledegable enough to realize what is going on in this country. The people we are so concerned about don't read such articles, or even care about these things. I mean yes, we should keep trying to achieve our goal and educate people...but it hasn't seemed to work for the past 6 years, and it doesn't seem to make any difference right now (at least outside of the Indian Community).

So let me end this outburst. Sidarth, I doubt you'll ever read this--but we're all behind you. It was an insensitive remark, and Allen's apologies as of 8AM today do not suffice.

I have so much more I want to say...but I'll refrain.

For further information on this story: has the video up, just search for George Allen, or the user is "WebbCampaign"

Actually, just google the term "Sidarth Allen," or any variation of. And you will read on.

Didn't I just tell ya, That you're my Cinderella?

Since I have no internet at home, I have been resigned to buying cd's for probably the first time in my life. But you know what? That is okay, as I have the means, and I am very selective. Many critics have been hello, critical, on Pharrell's new cd, saying it is repetitive, etc etc... To them, I give a big Fuck You. I happen to not mind at all Pharrell's nonsensical rhymes about skateboarding, ice cream, and the BBC, along with his "raspy shit." Plus, the beats are crazy. And for 6 dollars, can you REALLY go wrong? I've bought much worse cd's (i.e. the Batman and Robin OST). Anyway, also bought the new Jurassic 5 cd yesterday, it is freaking amazing (even though Cut Chemist left). That, paired with Mr. Lif's "Mo Mega" and The Roots "Game Theory" are my top three cds of 2006.

Game Theory is classic. I think I must have listened to it at least 3 times a day for the past week.

Anyway, on to normal shit. Work has been crazy--our August 1 deadline for our Mars Scout proposals is fast approaching, and because of that...I'm (surprise) working 9 and 10 hour days, and skipping the gym. Though today will not be like that, nor will tomorrow, when I leave work at 11 AM (holla). Woke up at 4:40 today for no reason, and figured that it wasn't worth the extra 20 minutes of sleep. So I got ready early, picked up my daily copy of The New York Times, settled down a little early at work, and here I am. Surprisingly, I have work to do right now--though we all know I'm not going to do it just yet.

Being at work for so long, and then being at the gym, kind of leave this summer with no room for a social life. But that is perfectly fine with me. This summer is almost over (thankfully)--and though my parents may feel a bit hurt that I feel this way, I really can't help it. New York will probably be much more rewarding this time around, since I can experience it all over again after 9 months of not seeing it. A daily subscription to the Times, and getting the WSJ for free will make my morning subway rides nice, along with after class sitting/studying in Bobst after I work out. Then it's whatever in the night time. At least this is what I'm hoping for--with classes from 8 AM-10:45 MW, 8-12:15 TR for the first half, and then back to 8-10:45...and of course, no class Fridays. Just over a month (about 31 days) left. And hopefully this last month will go faster than ever. The weekend is almost already here, and on Sunday my mother leaves for San Francisco for a week. So Sunday through Friday will be spent with the pops, doing whatever, drinking whatever, eating whatever, partying WHEREVER. Then perhaps little Shu-Jeng may come through next weekend, perhaps not. If she does, then that will be pretty sweet, I can take her around this part of the US of A. After that, my little cousin comes home, and then its almost time for New York.

Maybe I can get back in touch with Cooking again. That, paired with working out at the gym, kind of made my mind a little clearer. There is something about putting on a jazz cd, or Ol' Blue Eyes, while cooking up a nice meal and enjoying a tasty beverage of choice (wine, beer, etc) while cooking. Kind of rewarding. Even more so when there is someone to share the meal with, and to share that beverage with as well.

Anyways, these days as usual are repetitive. But that's life I suppose. One big routine of repetition, with an occasional deviation from the norm. It's how we deal with that deviation that shapes us (at least that is how I see it), along with those who accompany us along the way, to help us deal with those deviations, or to even become part of that routine, with a tad bit more excitement. At least that's what I'm hoping for anyways.

Chianti, anyone?
  • Current Music
    Jurassic 5 - Radio

The world is ready for the one soul that encompasses me and you

38 More days.

38 more days until Summer is over? Yes, 38 more days until I return to the city which is mine. The city where anything is possible, the city where dreams come true, and reality hits you quite quickly. The city where much of my hopes lay. I miss you New York--I even miss Staten Island (Shaolin!).

Anyways, next semester should be promising, keyword should. Schedule is all in the morning, allowing me the afternoon to get my life together at the gym, and at the library or somewhere around Manhattan. So many things I'd like to do for some reason. Perhaps it is just because it has been almost 8 months since I was last in New York. Though I may or may not go to a concert on the 14th/15th at Webster Hall.

In keeping up with all things New York, I have gotten in a habit of reading the New York Times cover to cover, and if I don't get it that morning and have to read the Post instead (by all means, a fantastic paper), I just feel a little swindled. Oh well, such is life.

This summer honestly needs to be over. It has been a couple months of nothing near normalcy, not for any specific reason. Work I suppose has been normal, as has the gym. 6:30 to 3 is my shift at work, and then I'm at the gym with some friends until about 5:30. Interesting company, and it provides me with a little bit of relief to an otherwise somewhat stressed life. Shed off a couple more pounds. Weekends are spent arguing with the Mother, and pretty much avoiding her glares and prying eyes/fingers. I love her to death, but the home situation is beyond repair, definitely ready to move out.

As I said, work is okay. Defintely doing more than I did last year--more responsibility, and along with that, more consequence for my actions. The interns are cool though, and with Kevin in the building next to me, it isn't as bad as it could be.

So, 38 more days...and that pretty much means about 2.5 more pay periods, 2.5 more paychecks, and I'm out of here. Tends to be the way I think of things now; in pay periods. Because they go by quickly. And on the off chance that days aren't going by quickly? Philip Roth, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and Vladmir Nabokov are my company. Along with The Roots, A Tribe Called Quest, and Common. And all other musical outlets, which are expanding as always due to the people in my life.

I long for the days where I can sit in Central Park underneath a tree with a good book, or laying in someone's lap. Much to look forward to, but as always, nothing for certain. But it is what I have to look forward to which drives me, it is what I thrive off of to get me through the day. It is knowing that what I'm going through has been shared by countless numbers of individuals, the same thoughts, the same feelings. And most of them made it out okay, right? So there shouldn't be any reason that it won't for me. Or so I hope.

38 More Days.
  • Current Music
    Pharrell Feat. Jay-Z - Young Girl/Like You

Rap Is Dying.

desi 4lyfe04: rap is dying because of Cam'ron
heartyitalian15: lol
desi 4lyfe04: a guy who rhymes poo-poo with moo-moo
heartyitalian15: is he the sole reason?
desi 4lyfe04: let me see if i can pull a camron like rhyme out of my ass
desi 4lyfe04: I'm in Harlem crusin down the street
Gotta get a chick from uptown to beat
We in the Lex Coupe ridin with the heat
Gotta grab those poopoo cash stashs
before those doodoo gats blasts
heartyitalian15: lol
desi 4lyfe04: not bad, if i do say so myself
desi 4lyfe04: now all i gotta do
desi 4lyfe04: is repeat
desi 4lyfe04: Dipset! Capo! Killa!
desi 4lyfe04: randomly
heartyitalian15: haha
heartyitalian15: i mean thats a formula for success

Spit yo game, talk yo shit.

I'm done with three out of four classes. But the next one is the one I need to worry about..I've barely studied it so far, so all of today will be dedicated to Finance, no excuses. Gotta memorize so many damn formulae and do practice problems. He's said we have to answer four out of eight questions so we don't really have to revise some topics if we don't want to ... but I doubt that, so...14 weeks of revision, here I come.

Yesterday's final wasn't too bad..though all of us essentially answered the questions by writing everything we knew, and then at the end saying what it had to do with the question. Hopefully Stephen will grade it fair..and by fair, I mean give me an A on it so I might be able to get an A- in the class. After my final, I went out to lunch with Randeep and Chelsea, had me probably my last meal of Fish & Chips, and then went to the most useless Islam & The West'd think that since it was our last class and all we were essentially doing was turning in our essay, he'd just let us do that and leave early. However, that really wasn't the case. Let's talk for an hour about how we loved going to the museum last week, and how we saw our professor and the curator pretty much have a private date with us just in the background listening to them talking. So that's exactly what we did. He finally let us out at 3 after an hour of class in which all of us fell asleep..and because of that, I came home and relaxed for the rest of the day. Slept at like 8:30 last night since I was so dead tired...and woke up at like 6 this morning. Good sleep. Unfortunately I think today will be drinking Redbull and that's it.

Been listening to a whole bunch of old songs from like middle school and high school and just ridin' on the memories from addition to having a bunch of people I went to middle school with who are like 3 years younger than me friending me on Facebook. It's funny to see them all older and everything, going to Proms, etc.

Anybody remember Dr. Dre's Xxplosive? Erykah Badu stole the beat and made that song that was irritating as hell with it right after the cd came like 7th-8th grade for me. Point is, the original song is the shit, makes you think of the summer--the hot weather, playin ball every day, chillin with friends, all the little shit too...wakin up early and smelling the air, mowing the lawn, hittin the gym up, goin to temple. Funny, a song about weed and girls does that.

Now its Fabolous's Breathe...haha..freshman year in the cold ass weather, drinking 40s and getting wasted. What a ridiculous/bad time.

Summer before college though...the cd which was definitely getting mad rotation on my way to APL, and all of that shit..Lil Flip's "U Gotta Feel Me"...I played that shit every day before I went to the restaurant and was a while ago, almost fuckin halfway done with college..well undergraduate studies at least. I've had this damn LJ for like a good 3 years now I think. It's so weird to go back and read what I was thinking back then, who I chilled with, what we did, the drama and beef which pretty much defined Roosevelt..well..high school in general I suppose. Glad that's all over...

Aite enough of that. I think I need to do mad laundry today since I don't really have time to do it on Thursday or Friday. And fuckin shit, they haven't emailed us and told us when the bus is going to come pick us up on Saturday, even though we have to clear out of the apartment by 10 AM. Which I really need to do anyway to catch my flight at, get me a bus at 8AM! Or earlier, don't even matter..I'll have the opportunity to read the paper or something. Waiting at airports is my profession...

Was talkin to my friend from UVA yesterday about not being able to wait to see Dulles Airport from the Windows of the plane. Just being able to recognize the runway from a few miles away, and see the tower and everything, and then all of the little shit, getting out of the plane, going to the weird buses and getting transported to Immigration, making a bee-line for the "US Passports Only" line, and then heading out of baggage claim..then finally to the arrivals hall. Can you tell I'm excited? Apparently it's going to rain the day I land..though lets hope the forecast changes and it turns into summer weather with the quickness.

Anyway, not much else going on over here, as per usual. Gotta study study. Save me.
  • Current Music
    Paul Wall Feat. Lil' Keke & UGK - Chunk Up Da Deuce

Here we go...


Oh man..finals start in like 2 and a half hours, one today, final two Wednesday. Let's see how this one goes..six questions out of twenty four, and we have two hours to do it. So I've been racking my brain over and over, and I think I can do long as I mix the facts with speculation and use words like 'perhaps' and 'rather' I'll be okay I think. But then again, I've underestimated Professor Inwood..definitely one of my favorite professors, and he's hilarious as shit, but...he's a really hard grader from past experience this semester. So...too bad he doesn't know our names so he can do the whole "let me boost this guy up a point or two"...hahah...but after that I believe Randeep and I are going to meet up Chelsea (Hayden 5th Floor shoutout) for lunch and then head to Islam and the West to turn in our papers, and then sit and listen to whatever Will has to say..aka study for our respective midterms.

Tomorrow will consist of nothing but studying, with the occasional laundry break since I need to start packing as soon as I get out of class on Wednesday. I gotta figure the best way to pack all of the clothes and some books..I figure instead of folding everything it's more economical to roll the tshirts as it creates more least thats what I did over spring break and I had room in my little dinky carry on. So we shall see.

I wish I had an iPod to listen to on the plane ride home..I know I have movies to watch, probably like 5 or 6 at my disposal...but theres nothing like relaxing with your iPod on shuffle and just closing your eyes and reflecting. Can't wait until I go shopping..most likely within the first week I'm home.

All of you Desi-Philes out there, see if you can download this song from Monsoon Wedding..I've been playing it nonstop since I've heard it. It's about 4 years old...actually probably 6 years old since I have no recollection of when the movie came out. But it was big in the US, and the song is called "Aaj Mera Jee Karda" and its one of the sweetest songs there is..definitely a dance song at a wedding. Hmm..wonder if there are any of those to be going to this summer...

So yesterday I studied..just not as much as I would have liked to in the morning hours..dedicated like 3 hours to History of London and wrote down everything I needed too..and then had the intent of studying finance..but I chose to nap for a long time instead after browsing Wikipedia for the most useless knowledge...I think I maybe got an hour (if that) of finance in...and then I had an extremely large dinner, which I shouldn't have had. Oh well..gym, here I come.

Went to bed at around 12:30 after the most wonderful phone conversation last night...though apparently I was deaf the whole time. lol.

After that however...well..this really annoying girl who can't stop asking Randeep for help on an essay started banging on the door at around 1:30 in the morning..and I didn't feel like answering, hoping she'd go away..but alas, the banging got louder. So I mosied on over tothe door, clad in wife beater and boxers..opened it, said "We are sleeping, go away" and closed the door. Felt GREAT. You'd think on a night when people have finals in like 8 hours, you would take care to NOT bother them. Gah. And then Colin (one of my suitemates) came in at around 4 drunk off his mind...which didn't matter since he's not usually loud, with everyone when they are drunk, your steps are a little louder, and your breathing and laughter are also a bit louder..but, he passed out around 4:15 and that was that...though, he's in my History of London class, and whether or not he's going to wake up to take the final is another story.

So, speaking of when I get home..I was surprised to find out that little Architha's going to be coming to the airport along with my parents to receive me, which should be pretty sweet so I can just start on making fun of her since I haven't in the past 4's going to suck though, she's heading out to India the next week for the majority of the summer so I won't be able to see my little sis. Guess I'll have to pester her while I have the chance. As for how she's going to fit in the car is a whole different story, with the two massive suitcases, my carry on, and my mother in the back seat as well. Guess she'll have to deal with a little corner hahaha. Damn..she only has one week left as a freshman, that's ridiculous. Seems like yesterday it was me leaving high school for good..and she was still going into 8th grade..damn..kid's growing up too fast..I was reading her myspace and it was talking about what guys she thinks is sexy and whatever..that's when it hit me, she's not a little girl anymore..she's almost 15. All I gotta really do is think of how the girls were when I was 15, and so were the girls I was interested in...all I'm gonna say is if she ever brings a guy home, I'm definitely doing the whole "break her heart I'll break your neck" thing..I can't take seeing that girl crying. Okay enough of that.

Anyway, I should be getting back to reading about the Rise and Role of Londinium, Great Plague of 1665, The Great Fire of 1666, Transport in the 19th Century, and the Interwar Economy, along with the Spread of London in the Interwar Years...woohooo and I'm out.

"RIP to Robert Davis he the king of the south
Anything else said need to shut ya fuckin mouth
I'm down with Lil' Flip, and I'm down with T.I.P.
If the niggaz come together know how much paper we could see?
Slim Thug and Z-Ro, y'all still bullshitting
Need to sit down take a look, too much money to be get
Paul Wall and that Koopa still ain't talkin
Money speak, all that bullshit keep walkin
Yall niggaz got the game fucked up
All yall record company people need to shut the fuck up...
-Pimp C"

  • Current Music
    Pimp C Feat. POP & Lil' Keke - Knockin' Doorz Down

Ain't got any gansta in you, not even a fraction

So much for that whole detox thing..haha..

Yesterday I finally made my way over to the computer lab and finished up my paper. I think it came out pretty well..then I had the intention of going home and studying for History of London, but then I realized the FA Cup Final was going on between Liverpool and West I grabbed a 4 pack of Guinness and went over to my boy John's place and him and a bunch of his roommates and I sat around and watched the rest of the was ridiculous. Fuck West Ham for giving up two leads and losing. But that's all I will say about that since apparently I get a little heated when I talk about it. lol...oh procrastination.

Ended up seeing 40 Year Old Virgin yesterday for the first time...never got around to seeing it in the summer (mainly because of all the "Roh, this movie is about you!" etc etc, so all the lines everyone used to scream out now make a little bit of sense. It was the uncut version so it was like an extra half an hour, but it felt like forever..had a money PB&J though while I was watching it..damn I was so full yesterday. Can't wait to get home and get pumping haha..only 6 days left though, thank goodness.

Today will definitely consist of studying for History of London and then Finance for the rest of the time until Wed. London final is tomorrow morning at 10, and I should be finished by 12..only shitty part is that I have another class at 2..Islam and the West. We dont have any thing to do in the class but our prof is gonna make us just sit there and listen to another lecture, when none of us will be in the mood to listen as we have other shit to think about. Oh well..I'll just blatantly sit there and study Finance...which I am starting to get stresed about more and more as it approaches. Dammit.

Off to do some pushups and get studying. Gah.

I can't wait to get home
  • Current Music
    Eightball & MJG - Ridin' High

Redbull - Drink of Champions!

And I stay true to my subject line...chugging redbulls gets me through the day. Especially today..need to finish the essay that I only half finished yesterday, and then hit the books on History of London today, and then dedicate the rest of the weekend to Finance. Doesn't look like much, but believe me, it is.

As I said, yesterday was spent at Bedford trying to work on my essay..though we all know procrastination took over. I guess two and a half pages out of five wasnt too bad..though in reality I should have finished it. Whatever though, its gonna get done today. After I came home, I chilled for a bit with the jew crew and the two rats, John and Amanda..who all decided it was their life mission to straighten my hair out with a straightening its really long. Too long. No worries though, it will be cut by the time next Sunday arrives (One week till I come home, bitches)..and then I was given a faux hawk...needless to say I immediately washed that shit out of my hair, and came home and slept. When I woke up however...I was thinking to myself...where in the world is Randeep? Well...dude never came home last night, and as soon as I opened my bedroom door, he was opening the main door to come in and pass out in bed..mind you, this is around 6:45 in the morning..beautiful. Me, I was dead tired from doing absolutely nothing, and passed out early in the night, as opposed to risking a broken nose at Printworks. Gotta stay away from the booze for the next week anyway, do a little bit of detoxing before I get home, as it will probably be 3 months of teetotalling and bringing that whole internal balance thing down..or whatever.

Random fact..with only a week left, I JUST figured out that you can open our windows the whole way, as opposed to only a little...that would have saved us alot of trouble this past week as its been absolutely burning in our apartment, and we've all been sweating bullets. Oh well, leave them open for the next week I suppose..along with the one in my bedroom so that I don't have to shed the blanket in the middle of the night. Anyway..

Been listening to a lot of music lately that I've missed since I got my computer stolen..obviously I can't download whole albums, but I can get away with getting some songs and then transferring them to my external. This Pimp C song that I have playing is crazy, definitely will be blasting loud when I finally burn it onto a cd and get to play it in the good old Volvo. Reminds me of a long, fast drive in the blazing hot sun on the way to beach. Damn I can't wait to hit the beach up...The next mix which gets made is going to be ridiculous, and will keep me through for the first month of summer, getting me to an from work, and all sorts of places.

Speaking of driving..I absolutely cannot wait to drive again. Never have I gone so long without driving since I got my learner's permit 4 and a half years ago...damn, was it really that long ago?..hmm..Anyway..first thing to do is wash the car, and clean out the trunk (finally) so that I can perhaps get a little subwoofer action in there, and get out all of the shit that has been in there since senior year of high school..which I no longer need, or care to have in my presence. Not to mention I'll need to adjust the damn drivers seat...I know I complain about this alot, but it's a serious thing. Haha..

Little Kathleen Deadrick has taken it upon herself to come to the UK with Mama Deadrick on the day I leave, which is kind of weird in an ironic way..would have been great if both of them came up while I was here, but I guess sending her an email of what to do will suffice (Kate, don't worry the email is on its way...or will be by the time you leave). The whole touristy thing is okay, but theres alot more to do...but who am I kidding I didn't really do much this semester.

It's hard to imagine that it has almost been exactly a year since my sacred thread ceremony..its been on me so long already that I feel I've had it on forever, and its really difficult to imagine a time when it wasn't on me. I guess thats how you're supposed to feel or whatever. As religious as I am, sometimes I feel that these things that are just symbolic don't do the sprituality any justice. To many, what I wear is just a piece of string around my chest...and sometimes I feel that way too..but then sometimes I don't...anyway, Im rambling on and on..but I guess the point is that that day seems like ages ago. I was actually looking at pictures of it the other day..and I look so ridiculously different...not to mention how tired I be perfectly honest, I don't remember much of that day..I know what I did, but I don't know why I was doing it, or who was around was such a rush..having a huge party the night before, and having mostly everyone spend the night at our place, with me on the basement couch with a bunch of friends around me..having to wake up at 4 AM, shower and shave, and then head over to the temple by 5:30, and not being able to come home until 4 PM that day..then just passing out for the next 3 hours. And then waking up and looking around and saying to it really over? I all actuality, I essentially got "married" that day, to the thread..and according to my parents, it was just as stressful a day as a real wedding would be. Wow. Then the weird feeling it was when I looked at myself in the mirror with the thread around me, and how I felt more that it just got in my way when I was doing every day things (something which will never go away)...and then seeing myself with gold earrings on, and just the overall connection with generations past. But, that was a year ago, as I said..and perhaps it's best left as a memory, as opposed to going through the whole thing again...the next time something of that proportion goes down will be own I was looking at those parents aged a whole lot in that one day. Neither of them got any sleep, and they were doing it all for me. It really hits you...

I'll soon be starting on my second real summer at APL, but my fourth summer overall. I've learned a lot there..and have met some people who have taught me things that I'll never learn in school...not to mention the damn office politics that even drag in clueless 19 year olds, who then get yelled at by their boss. That shit definitely isn't happening this year. I'm sitting quiet in my office, doing my own thing, putting in mad output and getting my money and getting the hell out of there. I'm a grown ass man, I have better things to do than mess around with that shit. Definitely continuing the trend of dressing one up on everyone, since I got some slack for my relaxed attitude towards office attire at the beginning of last summer. Take that, bitches.

I guess the whole point of this..random entry which is going in circles, is that I know now what I value at home, and just back in the US in general. Sure when I leave here I won't be able to just walk to any bar back home and order a pint of Landlord, or Guinness Extra Cold, and I won't be talking proper London speak, know what? That's perfectly fine. It's been an which will never be has had its very large ups, and its very large downs, and not much in between, I said--thats fine. I realize how much I miss the little things about Maryland, New York, everything. From using my cell phone to the grid system in cities to the drive from 301 to 3 to 32 West to 29 to APL Drive, and then back, and most especially making the drive from my place to Sarah's in 15 minutes. I'm all ready. Well I still need to pack.

I've been going on and on about how long my hair is...well here are a few pics from my birthday..and see how out of control it is.

On an end note:
We do it big in every state.
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We do it real we ride by the end of the night

So its the home stretch...and I definitely should be doing more constructive things rather than updating my livejournal. I have a paper due on Monday for Islam & The West which should be pretty I'll tackle that today and tomorrow, and then spend the rest of tomorrow revising for my History of London final on Monday morning..then the rest of the weekend/week will be spend hardcore studying for Finance which is my last final on Wednesday morning at 9. Our professor (DIRKA DIRKA) told us he'd take us all to the pub after our final..which is great since its at 11 in the morning. Hopefully our German-British boy Nitszche will come through and buy us pints. Our in many of our cases..double scotches to calm our nerves. That final's gonna be so damn hard. He gave us a review sheet, and told us to know everything on that like the back of our hand..which wouldnt be so bad if we were allowed a formula sheet and a graphing calculator. However, none of that is allowed. We have to memorize all these financial formulae (which i suppose is a good thing since I'm going to need them if I ever interview for a job) and we are only allowed a basic scientific calculator.

So I have 14 weeks of Finance to revise like it's my job. And thats going to suck like hell. But I guess I'll pull it together..

Got a few grades in last Islam and the West paper (which was pure unadulterated bullshit) produced an A- which I was very pleased with. However, my History of London essay, which was also pure unadulterated bullshit produced a B-, which I was very not pleased with. I guess I deserved it since I spent 2 hours on it and forgot to answer the second half of the question...I needed more space to write, not the 5 page limit. Oh well..I'll hopefully rape the exam. 24 questions, and we have to only answer 6 of them, so I'll study up on 8 topics and hopefully that should be that.

Final presentation yesterday in Org Comm, I think it went real well. Knew my shit, and answered pretty much every question which was thrown my way. Only downside was my hair..too fucking long and I didn't know what to do with it so I just threw some gel in it and scrunched it up. Yuck. But apart from that I think I looked the part and pulled it off well. So we'll see what I get as a final grade for my presentation. Still need to email my professor my powerpoint and everything. After class though was pretty chill...we all went to the Queen's Head for a few rounds..had a Maker's Mark and a Guinness Extra Cold, and then I came home and just chilled.

So today I should have been doing work, and I guess I should be right now...but..whatever. I've had a pretty relaxed day...woke up a bit early and talked to Sarah on the phone for a while, and then went back to sleep for a while, then woke up and figured out what I'm gonna get when I come home..I think I'm just gonna get the same digital camera since it's still on sale at BJ's, and then for my computer I'm just going to upgrade to the best Inspiron there is..17", dual core processor, 100GB HD, and all that good stuff..and since the insurance is going to pull through I'll add some goodies to it. Then I'll hook up the 60GB iPod so I can play with that and fix up my room to look amazing with my sounddock and new computer..put the old one in the basement, clean out my room, get a new desk, make everything minimalist so I can maximize the already small room I have. Summer looks really promising, for a multitude of reasons--girlfriend, beach, weather, work, overtime, gym, and many more..gotta get back into Tennis again, get some new books and read and everything.

I need to start packing really soon..I think I'll slowly throw things in the suitcase day by day, and then from Wednesday afternoon to Friday night I'll just be packing and throwing everything else I don't need away aka useless toiletries and everything...We have a bunch of glassware that we need to figure how to take home, as well as a Hookah and tobacco. I have 2 unopened bottles of booze which need to make the journey home so those need to be wrapped in sweatshirts and what not. Good old scotch and ouzo.

9 more days and I'll be outta here, and I'll be home by 3 PM next saturday..seems pretty sweet, to leave at noon and be home by 3, though its an 8 hour flight. Hopefully the weather will be good when I get home--the forecast for the 20th says its gonna be scattered showers and 75...hopefully the latter will be the only case. Then have a nice good meal of Mom's home cooking, and relax at night with Architha and the fam. Then get a fucking haircut on Sunday morning first thing since I haven't cut my hair in five and a half months. I've never had my hair this long, its really damn annoying. Then hopefully get to hang out with Sarah either Sunday or Monday afternoon after work.

Speaking of should be interesting..I no longer have the same office mate I used to, so I don't know where I'll be..but oh well. Hopefully it'll work out well. 7-3, here I come!

Okay I guess I should do some work..but in reality I know nothings gonna happen.

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